Don't you send me to vm
i think my tv is drunk
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He shit in the fireplace
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
