he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
