can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
