it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
