Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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