Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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