Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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