Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
