There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
