I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize