I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
