I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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