6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
