hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
