Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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