Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
