How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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