is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize