she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
