Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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