Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just forgot I was standing up.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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