you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
