Jerry, you need to find god
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
