And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
