Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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