Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
