Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
