dude i'm inner monologue high
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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