I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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