I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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