I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
