I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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