tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize