just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
