We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
