How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
