when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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