What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
