The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
