Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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