so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
