Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What a dumb baby whore.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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