highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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