puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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