She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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