The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize