Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
