Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
