nut hugger
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
my poor anus
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
