Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
