just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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