she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
