This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize