i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
