i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize