I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
