didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
