I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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