I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
